Stonewall Inn

So tonight I went to Christopher St and the Stonewall Inn, among other places. I had a few beers and bought the t-shirt and chatted to some people, including the 78 yr old barman, Tree, who was on the dance floor the night of the first riot in 1969. The area around Christopher Park and the Stonewall Inn was made into a national monument by Obama, as it should be. I felt very moved being there. And very conscious of how much has changed – in some parts of the world – and how much has still to change. But also how nothing really changes, initially, through being polite, by saying please, by promising not to rock the boat, by promising not to make the powers that be uncomfortable.

I chatted at the bar to Patricia, who comes to the Inn by subway from New Jersey a few times a week. She just started wearing women’s clothing on the outside a couple of years ago, after a lifetime of wearing lingerie under her suit. And Pete, who’s married and loves his wife, but likes to be touched by men – though not actual sex, you understand (which just about broke my fucking heart). He lies to his wife and his grandchildren about where he goes after work. And Fernando who is enjoying living in a different country to his family because he can finally relax and feel like himself.

Yes I want equal marriage but I agree with the fundamentalist Christians – it is the thin end of the wedge. At least I hope it is. Marriage will change. Society will change. This will pave the way – eventually – for group marriages, or no marriages, for time limited marriages, marriages between people who are neither man nor woman and don’t see the need to choose. Between people who don’t own each other and don’t need to be walked down the aisle or given away. And hooray for that. And yes, I hope it does mean a boy can go to school in a dress and kids can put on a play and act husband and husband or wife and wife and no one would bat an eye. The revolution has not gone far enough if it doesn’t go that far. I though about all of that on the walk back to my hotel room.

So I want to say thank you to the sissies and the fags and the stone butches and the drag queens and the rent boys and the dykes and the queers that said enough is enough and threw bricks and lit fires and took back the street. How beautiful and proud they were! Let’s keep it queer, to honour them. Yes it’s about getting married, but it’s also about Patricia being safe on the subway ride home and Pete being able to talk to his family about where he goes and why and Fernando not having to move countries to be comfortable being himself. It’s not about being just like the norm! It’s about problematising all of it – gender, sexuality, desire, love – queering it all up. Yes you fuckers marriage equality will mean that boys may be encouraged to go to school in a dress if that’s what the boy feels like doing!

It was a good walk home.